When Life Floods Your Plans

Three leadership lessons I learned while hauling buckets of floodwater

"Hey, wake up, the crawl space is flooded" I felt a hand shaking me awake.

What time was it? Damn, it's way too early and I went to sleep far too late last night. But it's my wife, and she rarely wakes me up. Deep breath, and let's get up.

And that's how I found myself spending the day hauling buckets full of water, drying wet equipment, and questioning why and how we have so much stuff. That's what I did instead of writing this post, which was supposed to be about something else altogether.

Instead, here are three flood-inspired leadership lessons. It's about inflection points, pointing fingers, and losing control.

Inflection Points

Every moment is precious. Every moment is unique. These moments are, in many ways, all that we have.

But.

Some moments are different.

Some rare moments matter more than a thousand other moment. A million other moments. They can shape the trajectory of your team, company, and your life. They are the fulcrum moments, the inflection points.

That time you hear a random customer complaint and realize that you screwed up, but big time. And the shit is about to hit the fan real soon. Well, actually, it might happen, or maybe not. And maybe you can ignore it or prepare excuses. Or you could embrace the moment.

Or that time when a star employee tells you that they are leaving. And you can't tell them that two other people are also on their way out, and that you've been having similar thoughts as well. It's the moment when you can coast along or accelerate your own job search. Or you can embrace the moment.

When you notice that you are at an inflection point, you have to take decisive action. As a leader, this often means taking control instead of subtly coaching behind the scenes in your 1:1s.

What you do is important.

I've had a dozen such moments. Sometimes I chickened out and sometimes I embraced the moment and the challenge.

What I really regret?

That one inflection point that I just didn't notice.

Pointing Fingers

I learned a metaphor 25 years ago that completely changed how I lead.

It's about pointing a blaming finger at someone.

When you point a finger at someone else:

• One finger is pointed at them

• One finger is pointed up at the heavens

• Three fingers are pointed right back at you

This completely changed how I viewed ownership. Whenever I blamed someone else for whatever misfortune happened, I was missing a growth opportunity. I have to start with pointing the fingers right back at me. At what I could have done better. At what I can change so that I do better next time.

I share this metaphor often.

It's the finger pointed up that I don't talk enough about.

Sometimes, crap just happens. And you couldn't have done anything about it. That's just part of life.

The IPO you were hoping for fell through because the global financial markets just tanked (that one hurt!). Or your star employee left just after you went out of your way to get them a bonus, because their best friend just started a new company. Maybe you were close to a promotion when the company announced a huge re-org and you found your entire leadership chain was kicked out.

It's about the illusion of control.

You still have three times as many fingers pointing right back at you.

Not because you can control your externalities. But because you can control how you react.

Control

The illusion of control

Switching to management is about losing control. This seems counter-intuitive to many aspiring managers. Or to individual contributor who hate management with a passion. The truth is, most people believe that managers have more control than others.

The truth is the exact opposite.

Management is about having less control.

It's about letting others make choices that leave you squirming in your seat. That have you running through exactly how you would solve this problem, so much better. In your head. Because it's their task now.

You can (should) help. With guiding questions.

But above all, with curiosity and an open mind. Because you will be surprised how often their way actually is better.

Except that sometimes you do have to assume control. In those pivotal moments, the right course of action is often to throw the textbooks out of the window and take decisive action. It's the exception that proves the rule.

Because nothing is simple in leadership.

That's just what life is without a lot of control.

Summary

This wasn't the post I intended to write.

It is the post that coalesced in my mind in a day full of unexpected manual labor.

I hope you found some small insight. If you did, please let me know in the comments.